Eliminating Regret: Memoir Writing Can Do That

I saw on Todrick Hall’s Instagram a list of the biggest regrets among Hospice patients and wanted to share it here.

Even before our Golden Age of life, I would say that midlife often makes one think about regrets.

If I were to die tomorrow, do I have regrets? What would they be?

First of all, if you don’t know Todrick, he’s a singer, songwriter, choreographer, and YouTuber, a role model for LGBTQ and people of color. I love his work. If you ever used to fly Virgin America airlines, he created the awesome dance sequence safety video before the flight. I miss that!

Anyway, back to regrets. Here’s the list compiled by Australian nurse, Bronnie Ware. It may not be quite what you expect:

Writing memoir is a chance to examine our lives, when we’ve been true to ourselves or when our decisions were based on pleasing others or some nebulous societal idea of “doing the right thing.”

Memoir writing allows us to express our feelings.

Memoirs are all about sharing our stories, our PERSONAL TRUTHS with our family and friends. It’s a way to not only keep in touch, but be real with other people.

Sharing our stories with others is a gift! To them and to ourselves. I’m a big believer in the process of personal story writing.

And remember, it’s your previous stories that got you to this point, you can still add new ones. Just don’t wait until death is at your door. You’re never too old to try new things, to get in touch with people, to live differently, and most importantly, to change your perspective. After all, that’s what most of life is: perspective. And it’s one of the key elements of story: point of view.

In personal writing, you can reflect on those past experiences that make you cringe, that you may be ashamed to share, and remember the context of your life at that time and forgive that young woman or man for the directions they took, show compassion and understanding. In essence, heal. And perhaps help others do the same by sharing your story with them.

There are 7.9 billion people on this planet. We all have a shared humanity. But we’re all unique. We all have our own stew of experiences and influences and our own perspectives of life, our own individual points of view. We learn more about others and ourselves and have the opportunity to create connections by sharing our stories with one another.

It takes time and reflection and, yes, courage to write our memoirs with emotion and truth—because boy, can it feel vulnerable to share our true selves—but if we do, I believe we can live fuller lives, and with even with no regrets at the end.