Finding the Time to Save My Dad's Life
Recently, along with client memoirs for Stories to Last, I’ve been working on my father’s. And I’m learning so much about him and my family background.
There’s a lot I didn’t know about my history. And there are details and stories about my dad that I hadn’t heard before. Or they’re different than I remembered them. And researching the places and events he spoke about in our interviews and in his writing for context has deepened my understanding of him, not just as my dad, but as a person and of the life he’s led. I’m loving it!
I’m also glad to be spending time on this now. The last time I saw him in person, I was startled at how much older he looked. And that much shorter. He still has his smile-worthy, pun-heavy sense of humor and the sharp brain of an inventor. But recently he was diagnosed with a slight hole in a valve in his heart causing defibrillation. The worst part was that the prescribed medication made it hard for him to walk. My dad, at almost 86 years old, still does push-ups and sit ups every day and, with my mom, walks or rides his electric bike every day. Sometimes both. It was a great relief when the doctor lessened the amount of the meds, giving him most of his endurance back.
But, I was reminded that time is finite.
And still, knowing that, I find it hard to make time to work on his book. The challenges makes sense with full-time work and kids and a graduation coming up, colds coming through the house (with masks coming down) and all kinds of the usual life stuff. We all have our commitments. And our preferences for how to spend our hours.
I’m doing my best to get to it. But I’m running into the same problem that a lot of my memoir clients run into: putting aside time to get it done.
So, I had to remember to take the suggestions I often give to others who ask:
Just a little bit. Even working a little at a time is okay. (Even just 10 minutes)
Set a routine. Any routine will work, one that fits you. It could be time of time or day of the week or just an amount of time to achieve on the project each week.
Move on. When stuck on a section that takes forever, move on to another section. (For this project, it’s the family history section since I’m doing the research, going down the Ancestry.com rabbit hole and such).
Enjoyment factor. We create our own fun. And sometimes we can forget to. Find ways to remember this enjoyment of the experience, whether it’s relaxing into it, sharing what you’re learning along the way, having a glass of wine or good cup of coffee while writing, or more.
One small step. Think one step, one task, one story or even one paragraph at a time instead of the overwhelming big picture..
It’s helping!
And completing this book is going to be a gift to my children and theirs of a time soon forgotten and the man they only knew as Grandpa. Of furriers in Russian shtetls escaping pogroms and saving up for passage through Ellis Island into New York to start a new life. Of the Bronx of the 1940s with stoopball and the Pickle Man and games of marbles on the sides of brownstone buildings and long subway rides to Stuyvesant High. Of seeing California for the first time and falling in love, building a backyard bomb shelter in response to the Cuban Missile Crisis, of inventions and holograms and building a life like his family had never known. And more!
Now that’s good stuff!
